The illusion of Feeling Guilty ! A lie Killing Your Confidence

I am Not Guilty, as you are not!

One of the most Psychological issues we all have is the continuous feeling of guilt following us everywhere, depriving us of unlocking our self-esteem and self-confidence. Making The feeling of guilt and shame one of the most common shapes of pressure in our current communities. 




And if you are not one of those rare people who got over this destroying feeling. You're probably suffering from a mixture of none necessary guilt's feelings.

   

Nowadays, most of us got familiar with regrets and guilt feelings. However:  Family, friends community and schools have turned us to machines that feel guilty, by conscience or without it...

We've always got remembered from a childhood of our bad behavior and pushed to feel guilty for things we've done and things that we haven't done, said or not said. 

As we got familiar with demanding interests and respect from others, we couldn't anymore deal with this dangerous state of mind when it is applied from an external source.

Guilt is the primary weapon of misleading and Skylight people, all they have to do is making us feel guilty first, then we have no choice than to listen to him and respect what they say as soon as possible.

Why do we allow this to happen?

Simply, because guilt is related to interest. And if you don't care, you are a bad person. While the truth is that the feeling of guilt has nothing to do with getting people's interests, it is only a stressed behavior, that gets the acceptance of most people in a surprising way that it is normal!  -which is not -

And to make things clear for you, if you want to show you care about others it is expected then from you to feel guilty. And if you didn't, you don't really care then!

This twisted line of thinking controls many lives and many minds.

And it's quite interesting to see that most people in doctor Anthony Robert's masterminds

 when he tells them to never feel guilty and shame, they wonder how it is possible to live without guilt,

which means they feel guilty for not feeling guilty. 

which is totally wrong and not wise!

Insight about Values and Ethics :

Many behaviors and things people or communities call " good " or " bad " ...  these words are only ethical judges about the value that depends on people's conscious level of today. Because it may be wrong or incorrect for them in the future or for others  at the current time or for you   

Note that Ethical principles are different from a place to another and from a time

to another, which doesn't make them an absolute truth!

Thomas More has said this very well in his quote:

 I find that doctors and Wise men have always disagreed in all times and places about the truth of pure ethical principles meaning, and between each 50, it's rare when  2 agree 

This means You should get rid of the continous idea of feeling guilty toward something in the past because there is no such absolute ethical principle in the universe. what seems to be bad for someone doesn't mean it's actually bad, it means that it is only his opinion.

So, don't judge yourself based on other's opinions and false values that don't even exist, and learn that something is only good or bad when you believe it thinks it is true!

Examples of main types of feeling guilt

1 - Feeling Guilt Through Love

The expression " If you really love me...You would...." It is the most used in love relationships generating guilt . and it is used for Deception and exploitation purposes, and what we really mean if we say it is " you should feel guilty if you didn't ..."

And as we tend to show our interest we got easily deceived 

2 - Parents makes their child feel guilty

Usually, parents use this weapon to control their children, in a case they need obedience or worship, as they use punishment methods... For instance, when they don't like what you've done or said or said they immediately reply that you're a bad boy or bad girl, They judge the value and personality, not the act committed. 

3 - guild feeling caused by the community

it starts from school when you refuse to satisfy your teacher when the teacher uses this weapon to control the student or in prisons when someone commits a crime, and they deprive him his freedom depending on how that crime is bad, to feel guilty longer, Then they let him out without finding a solution to the origin of the problem.

4 - guilt we impose on our selves

By Scolding our selves about mistakes in the past, overthinking for an embarrassing moment, we had, caring a lot about the appearance... or any other thing making us uncomfortable...

Finally 

what I really would say in this article is that we became very attached to impressions of people surrounding us and their thoughts and opinions as we tend to focus on being right all the time until we became upset to watch out every single word coming out from our mouths and every gesture we make in order to avoid anxiety and guilt coming from their bad impressions about us!

And in my opinion, these feelings are not necessary and have no reason to be in our minds. 

A piece of advice for you is to read dr. Robert Anthony's book: secrets of full self-confidence,  to discover more about this feeling and unlock your full self-esteem and confidence.